My Story - My Mindset
Now usually mindset week features various tools and techniques I've used or continue to use in my journey that enhance my life, alleviate stress, or are just super interesting. This week however will be slightly different. I want you to know what is possible.
In 2016 I "had it all" the secure, well-paid job, the partner, the house, the dog, and all the holidays. What I believed were the boxes that society expected me to tick. Outside everything looked wonderful but inside I was a total mess. My body in a constant state of chronic pain with regular flare-ups of Fibromyalgia and Sciatica, my mental health somehow at an all-time low after getting everything that I wanted and had worked my ass off for, and above all I was often a mega judgemental bitch who flew off the handles at the simplest things - to put it nicely. I couldn't control my emotions or see past the pain I was in physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Let's just say I wasn't exactly in love with who I was at the time but you would never have known it.
Like everyone, I've gone through the wringer a good few times and I was getting to the point where I couldn't take much more. I couldn't cope with mood swings daily (always in private and directed at my nearest and dearest because God forbid anyone knew) and this niggle that things just weren't right. That is where my journey started. On a random and totally normal day that was most likely not a Monday when I decided to start making small changes to take control and feel better. It started with documentaries instead of TV shows, clean eating instead of processed foods, reading instead of scrolling. I would put into practice what I'd learned in the hopes that this change would be the one to change my life.
This led on to yoga, veganism, morning routines, changes to the people I surrounded myself with, and a whole bunch of personal development related activities including books, seminars, audios, and coaching programs. After all of these changes and opportunities for growth, I learned there's no magic pill, it's not the perfect relationship and it's not having all the things you think you should have that will lead to lasting change in your life. It's consistently striving for more. To be a little better (and braver) than yesterday. To take responsibility for your life and know when enough is enough. I am only where I am now because I made the decision to start small and then I was ready to do the hard work. To reflect on who I was and learn from her. The old me was the way she was because she didn't know better but "when you know better you do better" as Maya Angelou said.
I started this journey in a place of true pain, massive resistance, and a complete lack of self-belief. Nobody but me could fix my issues. It is not one moment, one technique, or one therapist that changes our lives it is the consistent pursuit of growth that transforms us.
I used to hide who I was. Push down her mistakes as if they never happened. Move on from the pain and never really deal with it. No more! These past 4 years have led to where I find myself today, in a place where I can say with total conviction that I am done hiding. I'm ready to really show up as my full, true, and authentic self. The self I dreamed of who is a kinder and more loving version of who I used to be. A self that learns from her mistakes and deals with her pain head-on. A woman with self-belief who is capable of such empathy and love for others that she can truly serve them and help them along their journey too. Let's be honest that's why we are all here, right?!